A Momless Mom’s Thoughts on “Mother’s Day”

                        The world is celebrating Mother’s Day this month.   

Mother's Day GiftToday we celebrate that special woman in our lives who gave birth to us, held us for the first time in her loving arms and showered our little faces with affectionate kisses. She was always first in rushing to our crib when we cried at nights, tended us back to soothing sleep after frightful nightmares and fed us health and growth over the years.

 It is because of her compassion and love we became what we are today. She mothered us in millions of selfless ways and we know that a life time is not enough to pay her back for what she has done for us.

 So, here is to the Woman who we all call our “Mom”! Tell her today, that you love her more than she will ever know…

 You would know if you are familiar with what A Momless Mom symbolizes or what she stands for, whatever I wrote here so far does not apply to me in any ways.

 I have never known my Mom’s Love. She was not the first to wake up to sooth me back to sleep while I was a baby. She never put my well being first before hers. She did not raise me in love or cherish me as I should have been. But my experiences in this regard did not dampen my spirits or expectations of a Mother’s love to her child over the years. In fact, I did have the good fortune to cross paths with some special women who were kind enough to offer different shades of compassion which sometimes came close enough to what my  Mom would have given me…

 So, this Mother’s Day, let me recall those amazing women whom I met in various points of my life who helped me to restore my faith in Motherhood- or generally, speaking, humanity as a whole. Let me thank them today, for they have made my life worthy enough to live for…

I thank them today for teaching me not to take life’s simple pleasures for granted.     The special woman!

 My Paternal Grand Mother– She was the second woman I came to associate with next to my Mom. Soon after my Mom left, my Grand Mother took me and my little brother under her wings and looked after us when our Dad was away at work. I will have to say that she tried her best for the first few years in not letting us know the emptiness that was creeping into our lives left by our Mom.

 My Aunty Rosy ( Dad’s Sister)– I have never taken time before to thank my Aunty Rosy for her company when my tears threatened to break out. I couldn’t fathom the unfairness of living motherless at such a young age! She used to sing to me and play with me when I felt lonely and moody. And later, during my teenage years, she was the first one who taught me the basics of cooking essentials  

 Prof. Lalita at the University– I almost wished at one point for her to be my Mom! She was always kind and calm in her classes. She has always given me special attention and made sure that I am okay and comfortable with my lecture notes. There was not even once I have seen her upset or angry and I was very jealous of her daughter who was studying at the same University at the time. I wondered: “Does she even know how lucky she is for having Prof. Lalita as her “Mom?”. Talk about being naïve, right?

 Sr. Mary Jose, My faith sister at the nunnery of our parish back home:  Sr. Jose, needless to say, was always kind , considering my “motherless situation” and all. She constantly used to check on me, both in person and on the phone and continued to do so until I moved away to Canada. She was a strong support to me, like a lighthouse when the seas of my emotions raised turbulent storms. Sr. Jose’s immense patience has saved my spiritual life from various disasters that could have changed the course of my life entirely, for the worse.

 My Mother-in- Law: She is very special for the reason that I get to call her “Mom” without raising any eyebrows. I mean to say, it is legal to call your Mother-in-Law, “Mom”, right? I consider this as my good fortune because it feels so good when that word “Mom” rolls out of my tongue like a beautiful song each and every time. She loves me as a good daughter in law and I know that she is thankful to me for gifting her with two wonderful grandchildren! I have appreciated her kindness in cooking special food for me while I was sick with morning sickness in both pregnancies and then again, bringing homemade food to the hospital quite a few times after both deliveries. She would check upon me if I complain of a headache or back pain until I am better.  I want to tell her someday that all of the kind acts that she has sent my way over the years have not gone unnoticed… And that, if life was different and I had a chance to choose who gets to be my Mom in the next life (if there is one) I would certainly ask for her as my real ‘Mom’.

 These are some of the women who have won my heart in different situations in my life so far. I am sure there will be a few more if I search deeper my life. But hey, I am only blogging, not writing my life story, right? Thinking back and remembering these wonderful women on this special day certainly makes me feel special and to be worthy of their affection. I do not feel like somebody who was abandoned by her own Mother quite early on.

 Sometimes, curses are blessings in disguise. Do you have such a story to tell? A curse that actually became a blessing in your life? 

 

 

21 Comments

  1. It’s heartbreaking to know you didn’t receive the love you needed from your own mom, but comforting that there have been others to help fill that void. It’s important to recognize the many special women in our lives, who all seem to be of importance in some way or another in our paths.

  2. It always breaks my heart when you speak of the abandonment you felt when your mother left. But God can use terrible situations for our good and in this case, He allowed you to cross paths with women who not only cared for you deeply, but he He gave you the compassion to appreciate their gifts and bestow them on your own children. You are an inspiration as a mom and I hope you truly have a wonderful Mother’s Day!!

  3. Vinma, I have been thinking about you a lot these past few days as Mother’s Day approaches. Not having a mother has got to be an awful feeling, but from getting to know you these past few months, I can tell that it has only propelled you into being the best mom that you can be. And you are doing a wonderful job! Be thankful for the beautiful women who are in your life. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!

  4. First of all, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day! 🙂 I also wanted to say that I am so glad that you had some really wonderful women in your life who helped in some ways to make up for what you missed with your own mother. You are a wonderful mom yourself, so give yourself a big hug! 🙂

  5. This post brought a few tears for reasons I’ll keep to myself. Life is an amazing journey. TELL your mother in law exactly what you told us!! Better yet, let her read it…. What a great Mother’s Day present…. Good luck to you and I’m so glad you had/have those wonderful women in your life

  6. This was very sweet and touching. I too do not really have a mom to celebrate this coming Mother’s Day. Although the woman who gave birth to me and try’s to act like a mother (sorry long story which I won’t go into). But the woman who was more of a Mother and raised me passed away this past February. So this Sunday I will remember the good thing’s and celebrate by doing what she loved the most by singing and dancing!!!

  7. I’m sorry you did not have the mother’s love you should have had! That is so tragic! I lost my mom at a young age, as she passed, so I know how hard it is to be without one, based on choice or not. Hugs to you – and I am so glad you found other strong women to care for you along the way!

  8. I called my mom-in-law “mom”. Even though it’s custom in my culture, i sincerely accept her as my “mom” too. She was a loving mother and treated me like her own daughter. It has been 3 years since she’s been gone but the sweet memories of her remain forever. Thanks for sharing this beautiful post.

  9. Wow such an heartfelt well written piece. Glad you had not 1, but a slew of positive mother figures in your life. Happy Mother’s Day!!

  10. While my mother was, indeed, there to raise me, she is no longer in my life. Due my parents’ horrible divorce, my mother wasn’t there for me during my pregnancy, nor has she ever met my 10 month old son. While I often mourn not having her in my family’s life, there are a lot of things that need to be mended before I would even allow her too 🙁

    1. Thank you for sharing your story Lauren… There are times when I wished if my Mom was with me at certain points in Life. But it is of no use, even to wish like that, right? Some things that are not meant to be, are not meant to be.. I hope you sort out things too and I hope you find happiness in spite of your Mom’s absence… Take care.

  11. We celebrated Leftover Cake Day as well as Mothers’ Day. 🙂 It is so hard to divorce these holidays from the perfectionism that our society imposes on them. But we try!

  12. Thank you so much for this post. I consider myself a momless mom and struggle on Mother’s Day because of it. In fact, I despise Mother’s Day more than every other day of the year. I never have given thought to the other women in my life who have been that “mom” to me and I can give them thanks on that day. Thank you for letting me realize that I do have other important women and that Mother’s Day doesn’t need to be so horrible!

    1. Leila, my heart goes out to you… I know that it would have been so hard on you at a young age.. But, Life goes on, right? Things change. I have learned the hard way that, instead of wailing about the blessings or good fortunes that we didn’t get in this life, it is always better to treasure what we have already in our hands… Hope you find peace and I am very glad to see you here 🙂

  13. I emphatize with you..hugs! I grew up without my mother too..in fact i don’t know where she is right now haha.

    But thankfully, I have my grandmother to look up to on how to be a parent and a mother to my son.

    glad to to stopped by..

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