I usually get anxiety attacks on year-ends. It’s quite normal at this time to be feeling horribly inadequate and be sorry for my existence. The process starts early December in the bustle of the holiday season. I race through shopping, prepping, wrapping gifts, etc mournfully wondering what the heck I did with my life thus far. To plunge myself into further gloom, I proceed to take stock of life accomplishments (if any) and let’s just say, that never really ends well.
I look at my career and acknowledge the roadblocks received.
I look at my personal life and get overwhelmed with unfinished businesses that are still on my plate.
Not to mention, I am not getting any younger, am I?
A tiny voice inside squeaks, time is running out. So much to do, so little time! I could scream right now!
And to top it all of, I get all my mistakes wrapped in the form of a credit card bill early January- $$. Thanks but no thanks Holiday shopping. So. Wheels are set in motion in the new year yet again to scramble and pay off the debts. A vicious cycle begins. Same as last year. And the year before.
A New Year Goal of Becoming
In a way, I can totally understand these people signing up for gym memberships in January. They do this to get healthy and in shape. Well, that’s the cover story. But the truth? They want to block off the abovementioned doomsday reckonings. No one wants to wallow in the thoughts of unfinished businesses, old age concerns or failures that are hard to forget. Oh, and the bills. I mean, who wants bills anyway?
You might wonder I know this how. Well, let’s just say I was also a proud owner of gym membership once. And I still remember the reasons why I was there in the first place. I am not saying this is the sole reason people work out. Not at all. But at this time, the January rush is mainly caused by a wave of souls who aim to stop the clock. They want to take control of their life, their happiness. And most of all, they want to drown all thoughts of desperation, past mistakes, missed opportunities, and lost love. I mean, it could work. If only, you are consistent and focused. There will be good days and bad. The key is to keep at it. No matter what. Don’t fall off the wagon. Hold on, as if your life depends on it. Maybe you will get lucky. One more December will come and you will find yourself working out in the gym as you did in January. You have come full circle in that case, and damn, that must feel good!
Okay, I have no idea how this gym talk came into play here but I think it is a good example.
It all comes down to what choices you make really. Either you can wallow and drown in your sorrows or you can take control of your life. And for some, going to the gym might do the trick. Working out and staying in shape is a form of self care if you will. It is your way of thanking your body for being such a good vessel in carrying your mind and spirit. That vessel needs to be well oiled and nourished. And the upside to that is you will no longer have the time to entertain negative thoughts. There will not be a place for it in you anymore. You will be busy staying busy, healthy and happy. A total cleanse of mind, body, and spirit.
Make your aspirations a priority this new year.
A new year is also a new opportunity to start something new. Other than Gym. How about a new project or a hobby?
I have had people tell me they want to start writing but worried if they will be good at it. Only one way to find out right? BEGIN. Start somewhere. On a blank page, on a word document, on your new journal, a blog maybe-anywhere. This is where I want to say, the world is your canvass, my friend. Feel free to write or paint a story only you can tell. Give it one year. Write every day, little by little. Don’t worry thinking it won’t make sense to others. It will if you give it a chance. In time. I promise. And when December 2020 comes, you might be sitting on a novel, poetry or something crazy like that! Who knows?
Another thought? You can learn something new. For me, it was Piano and pottery. It was nice. I have the pictures and certifications as souvenirs to cherish for the rest of my life. So what I do is, when that feeling comes to haunt me, you know that feeling of being lost, incomplete and worthless, I take these pictures out. Also my pottery creations. I marvel at what I made. My hands did that! I look at my piano certificates and wonder about the music that still runs through me. Nobody can take that away. You can count on this medicine to work every time on your low moments. It does for me. Focus on learning the new.
Dare to dream.
Dream more, dream often. They say, if you can dream it, it can happen. But it is one of the truths people try NOT to believe. Why they don’t is beyond me. But I believe this with all my heart. My dream of starting a blog became a reality, my dream of writing a few books has turned into REAL BOOKS and my dream of landing a job I actually LOVE has happened as well. To be honest, friends, if you can envision something on your mind, it will happen in every last detail you imagined. All you need is faith. And it doesn’t cost a penny to have faith. So why not dream today? A beautiful dream. Spare no expenses, but have faith that it already happened even before it happens. This is what I call Dreaming with Purpose.
This New year, along with your new resolutions, plant the seeds for a spectacular dream.
RELATED: Choose Hope and Happy
So, coming back to my December panic attacks, the last time I suffered from it was two years ago. That’s right. Don’t get them anymore.
What changed then? I stumbled on my new year goals by pure accident. On a particularly dark day ( coincidentally it was raining too- Nature’s dark humor)my mind wandered away and brought some sense back. It led me to believe that life is not about hoping, praying and wishing. It is about doing, being and becoming. If you need to change something in your life, don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. As a result, I promised myself to choose me often, Prioritize my needs, Focus on what is important and dream with abandon. It is a work in progress to satisfy all these four elements all the time. But every action I take in this regard is bringing me closer to Becoming Me. And that’s all that matters.
I want to wish you all a very Happy New Year 2020. A year of truly Becoming You.
With love, Vinma