A Writer’s Soul

Summer is almost here! And we are ready to welcome it. 

Its been a long winter… Who doesn’t like a dose of sun shine after a deep cold weather, right? We deserve it!

 Life is been hectic lately (but that is not news anymore 😉 ). Work keeps me busy all day. Kids are enrolled  for a few more summer activities and I am pretty sure it is going to take a lot more of my time going forward. There are some writing projects on the works and I am very excited to see them to  fruition. That being said, I would have finished them long ago if I only  had more hours padded into my days.But we all know 24 hours is what we signed up for! 

Don’t even get me started on complaining about time. Or should I?

Well, I take your silence as consent to listen to me then. Okay, here goes!

I rarely find time to sit down and ponder anymore, let alone write. My days are packed with activities and stuff  scheduled to do right down to minutes. While I love to stay busy, I also realize that the writer in me is suffering. Words want to flow out of my soul but are strangled somewhere inside. I can feel them as they choke the life out of me everyday. I stare at the computer longingly from a million miles away knowing that it may take a while to get my hands on it.

My mind is always on the next project while I watch my kids playing at the park. And I feel guilty for not being present with them.

As I finish off one more assignment at work, I ache for the words that are threatening to break through any minute. But its funny. The next second, I frantically get myself ready to jot them all down but what I want to write is no longer there. Poof! Just vanished into thin  air…

I take a walk to clear my head only to feel a strong pull towards the blank document I started on back home. The white page of the notebook I carry around taunts me..dares me to fill it up with words…words that would make my pain go away… words that can appease my heart’s turbulent emotions. 

I stare at the vegetables I am supposed to prep for dinner tonight and  find them staring back at me accusingly.As I watch, I see them moving around as if they have a mind of their own. My vegetables are no longer beans and carrots and cauliflower.  They are words screaming loudly at my face, “WRITE NOW”.

WOW!  I think I need a break. I need some fresh air. May be a full carton of ice cream to escape this suffocation I am feeling. But who am I kidding? I know I can’t get out of this state until I write a few words on that inviting blank word document.

BUT.. Time is eluding me, the very same words I search for are eluding me,constantly.

I am trying to catch up but always fall behind. Meanwhile, my writing projects beg me to have a look at them, tie up the loose ends and add some finishing touches. Next to impossible! I can’t. Simply can’t. Not at least now.

I  know what you are thinking. Poor girl has writer’s block. Don’t you think I know it?

I do. I am suffering from a mild case of that. I blame it on lack of time, though.

A vacation from this mayhem would be great. It could bring a clear perspective, a fresh flow of words, a rainbow or a unicorn!

While I ache and scream inwardly for the words I love and loathe, feel free to stop by and read a story I wrote for Yummy Mummy Club. Yes, it was for a contest and good news is, my story scored a runner up position! For some reason, that gives me hope.. May be, all is not lost after all. I may still have a future as a writer.. 

What do you think?