Its been an year, a month and a few days today since my last post. Wow. Time flies.
It is quite unsettling to realize weeks and months just whizzed past adding unforgettable experiences that will leave me changed, non conformed and hopeful. The journey (which by no means is on its last leg) has left me scarred, tired but in some ways also radical. It is an interesting mix. And 10 years ago, I didnt ask for it. I didnt see it coming or was I prepared for it.
Yet here I am.
With the burden I carry- at times heavy, at times light. Always bearing it though with dignity, with last remnants of my pride. One thing I promised myself all through this phase is that I will complete the journey, I will see this through. No matter what the cost is, how intense the pain is, and how much more it will take out of me. There will always be some fight left. A little more of that spark will carry me through what is to come.
Reminds me of Les Brown’s quote- It is not over until I win.
I apologize for the continued vagueness as I can’t share any specifics at this point. It is an invisible gag order I imposed on myself as it is a developing story still. I have to respect the people involved in this process, I hope you understand. Although I havent been writing, it didnt stop me from checking the blog. Meandering through my old posts, reminiscing the experiences associated when writing it, the comments I received, the places this blog took me and people I met over the years etc etc. So you see, I was sticking around. Keeping memories and love alive. It also helped me remember my Why. Why I started this blog, why I wanted to write, why I wanted to keep my creativity flowing even in worst of times. Memories is all we have to be honest. It is not the material things, the possessions, how much money in your bank account or how big is your house. At the end of the day, what matters is how you have evolved and what bought you here. The person you have become is the sum total of your memories and experiences. These two can make you filthy rich or dirt poor. Both got nothing to do with money. Interesting, isn’t it?
I hope that the day will soon arrive when I can put this phase behind me and finally be free to talk about it. I will be unpacking it all on a Sunday afternoon over coffee. I will marvel at how strong I have come out of this. How appreciative I have become of life. With a heart full of gratitude and prayer, I will vow to live fully, be present 100% and be content at the nuances of life as they come. There will be tears of joy. Lots of it. Knowing that all is not lost. What I have now is exactly what I needed. The Grand Plan of Higher Power. Who am I to question it?
I am not sure if I will see you again. I know this is a long wait with no estimated date of resolution. I also can’t entertain you in the mean time while we wait. It is just what it is. With not much going on, how can I ask you to stay? But if you do, please know I will be honored. We can pick up right where we left off and continue along. That will be beautiful, isn’t it?
I have been meaning to share for a while now about the publication of my poetry book, Love Moons.
It is been in circulation since last July both online and in some Indigo stores in Canada. Recently, I also succeeded in getting Love Moons in our local library (Yay!) albeit only for a year as part of Local Authors Show Case. Regardless, it is a success story to me. I wanted to write more about Love Moons and share all the details with you but something tells me this is not the right time. Maybe it could serve as motivation to write my next post. Who knows? I could also do a giveaway (haven’t done that in a while) of free copies. Exciting!
That being said, wow! I can’t believe I wrote over 700 words in an hour. I haven’t written anything since publishing Love Moons last year. Good work Vinma! Baby steps.
With that said, I will leave you to it sister. Just wanted to pop by and announce that I am alive 🙂
Until we chat again, love and light. Loads of it.
Take care xoxo