Today, Kevin was trying to pacify Krista when she was bowling over and nothing would soothe her until someone pick her up. Unfortunately, my hands were tied up in the kitchen and I couldn’t go to comfort her for few more minutes. Until then Kevin was nicely playing with his home depot work bench putting some toys together or rather breaking them with the tool kit. I asked Kevin to distract Krista for a while by giving her toys or something.
After that I went back to my cooking. It was silent for a while except some giggles and Kevin laughing out loud ocassionally. I went to the family room to check if everything is okay and saw the companionship between my two kids- Krista earnestly looking at her brother and Kevin putting some silly shows infront of her and making her giggle. Something stirred in my heart and realized it was the overflowing love that I was feeling for my kids at that moment. I couldn’t believe that I gave birth to both of them and that they are a part of my flesh and blood.
I remember the times specially when I was pregnant with Kevin. The months leading to my delivery were not happy times. We had some problems at home to be dealt with and I was getting so very tired both with physical and mental exhaustion. To stay on top of the game and not to loose it, I abandoned myself to work and did all the overtime that I could find at my office to not to think about things that nagged me then. I was really ashamed later in my life thinking about a couple of times to get rid of the baby that was growing in my tummy. My father who live elsewhere used to call me everyday and gave me strength to face the day by telling me how important it is to stay happy to have a healthy baby. I did not understand it then and got mad at him for driving me nuts by talking nonsense. I thought being happy was out of the question and to stay sane and alive was the priority. But what he said about being happy specially when pregnant stayed in the back of my mind. Things eventually got cleared up for us and slowly life took a normal turn. I had Kevin finally at the end of my long wait and was really truly happy to hold him in my arms. I hope the hardships and the exhaustions in all levels that I had to go through when he was still inside me would not affect him. I hated to take the same risk with Krista. I was determined to stay at peace this time around and succeeded in it!
But all these experiences got me into thinking. Why is the mental health of a Mother important for the health of her unborn child? How can it negatively impact the baby in anyway if the Mom is not having a good day? I did some digging around and surprised at what I found. Going back to book of Ayurveda, I found that your baby’s care begins with the time before the conception and ends a few years after the birth. Both parents should nourish themselves with good food and postive environment for what what they have in them is transferred to the baby when he or she is conceived. Eating good food is important for the pregnant women and few choices in the list are whole grain food items, milk, honey, ghee etc. She should also avoid stress at this time and perform moderate exercise to keep the hormones that are excessively produced under control. Ayurveda has zero tolerance to the state of unhappiness and mental disturbances and says that it will negatively affect the baby’s mental and even physical health.
There is also another source that I stumbled upon which echoes the same philosophy. The Jewish people believe that the “pregnant” months are very special and delicate times. Your attitude, how you behave and your choices with nutrition certainly impact the health and future development of the baby. The Jews believe that the mom to be should always make sure to be in a serene atmosphere. They should certainly not to get angry or upset.( But I know that is humanely not possible.) They further say that special attention should be given to your spirituality at this time as it contribute to positive impact on the unborn. The Jewish priests advises their pregnant women to expose themselves to spiritual plains within them and not to indulge their self with gossips or slander. (Cannot agree with that either, since for me ocassionally gossiping helps a lot. I am not going to lie to you)
Half of the things mentioned here are a bit difficult to observe when the reality hits. But it does not cause any harm to know this and act atleast “street smart” when the situation demands. I am sure there are tones of information out there on this topic and hundreds of other sources could emphasize on the same theory. But I am not going to look further because I know better that I knew three years ago. When I look at my childern today, all I feel is an overwhelming joy that is worth living for and will help me if there is a third time around, EVER..you know what I mean?